


'Cause I Just Can't Look (It's Killing Me)

by ariessmash



Series: There's No Cure (For Our Condition) [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Edging, F/M, I hate tagging, Language, Self-Hatred, Self-Loathing, Slight Bondage, Smut, Suicidal Thoughts, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, can you tell???, haikyuu x fruits basket crossover, like seriously it's not even bondage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:42:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25434844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariessmash/pseuds/ariessmash
Summary: They exchange kisses and hold each other close, but they don’t love each other. They seek solace in one another.  Bokuto and Kaori have one thing in common. They pine for others, yearn for them. They’re afraid to show their true selves to their unrequited loves for fear of being rejected.
Relationships: Bokuto Koutarou/Original Female Character(s)
Series: There's No Cure (For Our Condition) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2021666
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	'Cause I Just Can't Look (It's Killing Me)

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warnings: angst, unrequited love, language, self-loathing, suicidal thoughts, edging and smut.
> 
> Word Count: 6,899
> 
> Author’s note: In honor of Haikyuu ending ☹ I bring this angst fill Bokuto and my Oc, Kaori. Also, I left my laptop in the hands of my bff so the toddler that lives with her wouldn’t mess with it. She wrote a thing I didn’t see until I got to the page. I don’t have the heart to take it out because it’s funny (at least to me). I should mention is involves MPreg and its complete nonsense based on a conversation we had earlier that day.

**“I’m not sure when she’ll get here.” Bokuto said as he shouldered his phone to his ear. He was foraging in the fridge for snacks he could lay out. “Are you sure you don’t want to come over Akaashi? The more the merrier.”**

_I wish it were just you._

**“I’m positive. You and Kaori get loud while watching horror movies.” Akaashi replied.**

_I want to hold you._

**“It’s those damn jump scares that get me. And I can’t even begin to explain why Kaori shouts.” Bokuto kicked the door closed with his foot. He happened to glance at the clock just as thunder rumbled the house.**

**“Hopefully, Kaori didn’t get caught in the storm.”**

**“She’s stubborn. She’ll trek through a snowstorm for horror movie night.” Bokuto laughed.**

**“I guess you’d have to be stubborn to be one of the Karasuno’s volleyball managers.” Akaashi joked, but then felt really sorry for the fellow second year.**

**The doorbell chimed on cue, Bokuto finished their conversation and yelled when he was close to the door.**

**“So Akaashi won’t be joining us…” Bokuto swung open the door with a bright cheery smile, that quickly disappeared. Kaori stood before him clothes and hair clinging to her, her entire body shivering.**

_For a few brief moments, I thought it was you._

_She looks so much like you._

**“Is it raining?” Bokuto asked.**

**“Yes, yes it is.” Kaori replied calmly.**

**“Get in here and warm up.” Bokuto ushered her in.**

**“But I want to stay outside where it’s beautiful and sunny.”**

**“None of your sarcasm young lady. Wait in here and I’ll get you something to change into.” Bokuto pushed her into the bathroom where it was still warm and steamy from the bath he finished taking a few minutes ago. His hair curled at the end, but for the most part it laid flat since it was damp.**

**Kaori peeled off her clothes and hung them over the bathtub. After making herself a toga out of a towel, she began to ring out her long black hair into the sink. There was a knock at the door and in the mirror she saw Bokuto’s arm reach in and place clothes on the floor. They were Bokuto’s clothes and they smelled like him.**

_I wish they smelled like him._

**Bokuto was setting up in the living room when he heard the bathroom door slam open and the elephant stomps coming down the stairs.**

**“What the hell is this shirt?” Kaori asked, pulling the loose faux silk shirt away from her body. The shirt was dark green with large yellow and red leaves. It was an ugly, ugly Hawaiian shirt. Something a father would wear while on vacation or just in general.**

_He left that shirt here months ago._

_I don’t think he knows I still have it._

**“That’s my favorite shirt.” Bokuto smirked. “You look cute in it.”**

**“I feel like I’m about to star in a porno.” Kaori said, suddenly staring at Bokuto’s chest and then down at hers. “When was the last time you actually, physically, wore this shirt?”**

**Bokuto thought for a moment. “A few years ago.”**

_That’s a lie._

_Stop lying to yourself._

_You’ve never worn that shirt._

_You slept with it until it stopped smelling like him._

**“So when your tits could fit inside.” Kaori said smugly.**

**“You’re so crud. You’ve been hanging out with those boys too much.” Bokuto faked disgust.**

**Kaori threw a pillow at him, knocking his head back. “Don’t make fun of my boys!”**

_Please don’t._

_He’s one of them._

**Bokuto grabbed the pillow and Kaori immediately feared for her life. There was a high chance Bokuto was going to unleash his favorite kill move. Ending her life. Death by pillow via years of playing volleyball. She was able to duck just as the cushion whizzed above her head.**

**“You could have killed me.” Kaori said, grabbing another pillow, but opted to flopping down on the couch.**

**“You would’ve live.” Bokuto sat on the floor by her feet and laid his head in her lap. “Besides, the shirt does look better on you than me.”**

_Another lie._

_He looked better in it._

**“So your tits don’t fit inside.” Kaori said.**

**At that, Bokuto stood and held his hand out. “Give it to me and I’ll prove your wrong.”**

**Kaori paused. “You want me take off your shirt?”**

**“Yes. Give it.”**

**“And you don’t see an issue with that?” Kaori asked.**

**Bokuto shook his head. “No. None.”**

**Kaori sat up, shrugging. “Alright.”**

_She looks so much like you._

_If you had longer hair I don’t think I’d be able to tell you two apart._

**Bokuto waited patiently as Kaori worked down the buttons. His eyes following the curve of her back. It wasn’t until he caught a peek at her cleavage did he panic, realizing his mistake.**

_He wouldn’t have been this bold._

_Would he?_

_I wish he would._

**“Ok! Stop, stop!” Bokuto yelled, covering his face. “Daichi would kill me!”**

_Why would you mention him?_

_You know how I feel about him._

**“Oh, but I thought you wanted to prove me wrong.” Kaori teased.**

**“Yes, I do, but then I remembered you’re a girl and girls have…” Bokuto’s voice trailed off. He cracked his fingers and peered through the small window in between his fingers. Kaori caught him.**

_I wish it were him staring at me._

**She stood in front of him with the top buttons undone. Bokuto was much taller and could see straight down her ivory flesh.**

_If her eyes were a different colors._

_If she spoke like you._

_I could maybe forget about you._

_I could use her to replace the pain I feel whenever you leave my side._

_How did we even start this?_

**The first time they met was during the week-long training retreat with other teams. She didn’t really stick out amongst the other managers, he did mention that she looked like Akaashi. Her hair was as black as Akaashi’s and their skin was the same color. It was just the eye color that was different. Hers were the palest purple and his were a dark blue. His setter called him crazy and dragged him away.**

**Bokuto couldn’t take his eyes off of her, wanting to see what she was like. Maybe their personalities were the same? They were not. When two of the Karasuno members were being extra around the blonde first year manager she yelled at them, spewing profanities and threatened to kick their asses. She was drastically different. His team’s managers weren’t anything like her, they were polite and never raised their voices. One was weirdly obsessed with food and she always reminded them to eat.**

**He was cooling down under the stars when he saw Kaori come out of a gym. She was walking along side Daichi, smiling up at him. Shining. It was obvious that she was into him, but Daichi wasn’t catching her vibes. Bokuto knew that feeling all too well. He wanted Akaashi to reciprocate his feelings, but he was either oblivious or just didn’t like him back. Either choice was torture.**

**One night, Hinata had roped Kaori into their after practice to throw up tosses and she did it with a bored expression. Kuroo was quick to warm up to her, like he could with everyone. It helped that their personalities were identical, save for a few differences in their sense of humor. The Nekoma got her to take Kenma’s setting position when he got tired. She did simple sets, but it was clear she was athletic.**

**When Hinata wanted to keep going, completely forgetting about dinner like the obsessed moron he was. He stopped mid-complaining when he felt a cold chill travel down his spine. When Hinata missed an easy dive, everyone glanced over at him. He was frozen in place and they followed his gaze. They all backed away when their eyes fell upon Kaori glaring at Hinata. Dangerous vibes flowed off her and her eyes is what scared everyone. They were cold and so pale they almost looked white.**

**“It’s time to stop.” She threatened.**

**Hinata nodded in fear and immediately began to clean up the gym. Mumbling about how she was scarier than the time he served a ball straight at Kageyama’s head. Kaori left them, feeling like she accomplished all the world’s problem.**

**“I like her.” Kuroo said.**

**“Of course you would.” Kenma said, already bringing out his Switch. “You two are so similar it’s almost frightening.**

**“It’s just nice to be around a girl who can keep up with us.” Kuroo said. “She’s different.”**

**“Did you see the way she glared down Hinata?” Lev asked, “I thought my grandmother was the only one who could scare someone like that.”**

**“She’s terrifying.” Tsukishima added. “When Tanaka and Noya start acting like morons she’s the only one that can corral them. With a look like she gave Hinata or by threatening them.”**

**“I can only imagine how horrifying that is.” Akaashi said.**

**“It’s like she has two personalities.” Tsukishima confirmed. “And honestly, I wouldn’t want to get on her bad side. There’s no telling what she will and can do.”**

**~~~~**

**“So what are we watching?” Kaori asked. Buttoning up her borrowed shirt.**

**“Uh, I forgot the title. I know it’s new though.” Bokuto started the movie while laying his head in her lap. This was usual. He was cuddlier with everyone and wanted a place to hide his face if things got obscenely scary.**

_I want this._

_But with him._

**They didn’t know why they were surprised when 80% of the movie was too dark to see. Bokuto got up to turn off all the lights. Happy for the added distraction. When he returned Kaori was gone leaving Bokuto confused. She was just there and he wasn’t gone for long. Then he heard noises coming from the kitchen and he followed it.**

**Kaori was in the kitchen filling a cup full of hot water while twirling the tail of a tea bag in the pads of her finger. It didn’t bug him in the least. Kaori had been over so many times, she made herself at home. He watched her from the doorway with an arm perched on the frame. Intense yellow eyes tracing down her body. The shirt was longer on her and stopped a few inches below her butt. She had on a pair of shorts underneath, but it looked like a skirt. He couldn’t tell where her curves were and that just added to his agony.**

**His body moved before he could stop it. His large hands reached out until they were under the soft material, touching her smooth skin. Kaori jumped at the sudden sensation, he held her in place, resting his chin on her shoulder.**

**“You really do look better in this than I do.” He said, kissing the nook of her neck. Kaori tilted her head slightly giving him easier access and he took advantage of the vulnerability. He left soft kisses up her neck, stopping behind her ear. The tingling sensation caused Kaori to moan and push back against him. She clutched one of his large arms the same time he squeezed.**

_This is agonizing._

_Why can’t it be him?_

_I want to hear him moan like this._

_I want to feel his lips like this._

**“Did I find your sweet spot?” Bokuto teased. His voice low and hot in her ear.**

**Kaori was afraid to use her voice, all she could manage was nodding her head. Grinding against Bokuto’s hardening cock.**

**Bokuto’s hands slowly traveled up Kaori’s body. “Do you want me to keep going?”**

**Kaori nodded again, swallowing hard.**

**“Use your voice baby.”** **Bokuto said, stopping his hands just below her breasts. “Look at me.”**

**Kaori turned in his bulky arms, mourning the loss of his hands so close to fondling her. Her hands gripped on the ends of his shirt. Her face was flushed and it was difficult to look Bokuto in the eyes. His yellow orbs were so intense and dark, it felt like he was going to devour her.**

**Keeping one hand on the small of her back to keep her in place, Bokuto used his free hand to move Kaori’s face up. Slowly, Kaori met Bokuto’s strong expectant eyes.**

**“Tell me what you want baby.” Bokuto asked again.**

_I want him to call me that._

**That pet name did something to her. Her legs turned into pudding, her face grew hotter, her stomach did flips and she could feel the shorts she borrowed from Bokuto get wet.**

**“I want you.”**

_No, not you._

_Him._

_I want him._

_But I’ll use you._

**With given permission, Bokuto scooped her up in one swift movement. Their lips mashing together feverishly. Kaori’s hands buried themselves in his damp hair, gripping at his roots. Bokuto growled lowly in his throat and wished his hands could do more than squeeze her ass.**

**The movie was long forgotten as Bokuto carried her to his bedroom. He kicked his door closed and crossed the room to lay her on the bed. He crawled on top of her, all of his weight on her, but she loved it. He could feel cock rubbing against her leg whenever his hips bucked.**

**A large hand ran down her leg, stopping at the crook of her knee and hiked it up to hook around him. His other hand was under her shirt, kneading her breast and nipple. Kaori and Bokuto had their tongues down each other’s throats, her hands scratching up his back. The hand on her thigh quickly went to her chin and pushed her face up and away. He stared down at her long and slender neck. He wondered how beautiful it would look with blossoming hickies, the dark purple would contrast her pale thistle eyes.**

**Bokuto latched on to her neck, biting and sucking on her flesh. Kaori moaned underneath him, her hands resting calming on his jaw line. She remained still, allowing Bokuto to mark her. With little force, Bokuto moved her head to the other side to continue to score her flesh. When he finished, he leaned back to examine his handy work. His hand sliding down the length of her neck, slowly and slightly pressing in.**

**He smiled down at her, it was a little sad, but proud. Kaori tugged on his shirt, getting him to look at her pout and pleading eyes.**

**“Do you want more baby?” Bokuto asked.**

**She nodded and just to make her point, Kaori traced her finger down his sculpted body and down into his pants. She palmed his cock making Bokuto’s breath hitch. She continued her ministration until Bokuto pulled his shirt off and pulled down his pants. Bokuto gasped when Kaori’s hot tongue traveled up his cock for what felt like an eternity.**

**“Baby please.” Bokuto begged. His hands went to the back of her head but held off on pushing her head further down. He could feel her smile against the head of his cock and then released a heated moan as she coated the head with saliva and took the length with practiced ease. His grip tightened in her hair, his hips bucked and he hissed through his teeth.**

**The width of his cock hurt her mouth for a few short minutes, but she adjusted. She always did. He was heavy on her tongue, she moaned around him when she felt his pre-cum drip down her throat. He used her face, starting off slow, loving the way her lips looked wrapped around him and the way her eyes would occasionally look up at him. She dared him with those eyes, provoking him to go harder until tears threatened to spill.**

**“Fuck baby, I’m gonna cum.” He pulled her off of him, dragging her up to him like she weighed nothing for a sloppy kiss. He tasted himself on her tongue, there was an aftertaste of chocolate. Most likely a snack she had before venturing in the storm. “Switch places with me.”**

**Kaori waited patiently and watched as Bokuto retrieved a condom and slid it on. He pumped his cock a few times just for show. Her mouth watered at the sight before her. Bokuto was the definition of beef cake. Thick and muscled legs, chest, arms, and an actual butt. Whenever they hugged she wanted the moment to last forever because his sculpted arms made her feel safe.**

**Her attention was brought back to the semi lit room when she felt the bed dip. She watched as he made himself comfortable against his headboard. Glancing over at her with hungry eyes and motioned for her to come closer with a wave of his finger. She crawled to him, the opening of the shirt leaving nothing to the imagination, her shoulder exposed.**

**She perched herself in between his legs and began to take it off. Bokuto stopped her.**

**“Leave it on.” Bokuto said, tipping his painfully hard cock side to side.**

**Kaori forgot about her shirt and continued until she was hovering over Bokuto’s length. With one hand holding it still and the other firmly on Kaori’s hip, Bokuto guided her down. They both moaned as she sunk lower and lower on to him, spreading her open.**

**Bokuto hit his head on the wooden board. “Fuck, baby. You’re so tight.”**

**Kaori watered at his words, clenching around him as she bottomed out. Bokuto bent his knees so she could lean against them while grinding on him. He thrusted into her, matching her pace. His hands gripped at her hips for dear life, knowing there would be more bruises in the morning. Kaori’s hands landed on his chest and bowed her head and moaned curses. Bokuto moved her hair to one side, having full view of his previous work.**

**He got bored of their position quickly, wanting more. He pushed them away until her back hit the bed, her legs spread opened wide for him. His hooked his arms around her squeezing her close and his mouth found its way to her neck. Kaori released the loudest, deepest moan as Bokuto fucked into her deeply, rubbing against her clit.**

**“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Every word getting higher with every quickened thrust. She was so close, feeling the warmth pool inside.**

**Bokuto pulled himself off of her, the cold air in his room making her shiver. She cried when he slowed his pace. To silence her he stuck his thumb in her mouth and lovingly rubbed her cheek with his fingers.**

**“Not yet baby, it’s too soon.” He said sweetly. “Can you hold out just a little longer?”**

**With her mouth sucking on his thumb she meet his gaze with watered, wanting eyes and nodded. He remained inside her, only moving randomly to keep her guessing. He kissed a trail of hickies down to her chest and took a nipple into his mouth. Kaori moaned feeling his tongue work around the area, her back arched into him and her legs tightly wrapped around his waist and hugged Bokuto to her.**

**He smiled into her fatty flesh, biting on to the nipple he stretched it out a little and let it plop. He hiked one of her legs to rest over his shoulder and bent down, stretching it. He was merciless with his rhythm, he dug into her, pulled all the way out and repeated the process. His thumb slid out of her mouth and both hands grasped her face. He was hunched over, bringing their foreheads together.**

**“Please…let me cum…please…” Kaori’s words were broken and fell hot on Bokuto’s face.**

**“Hold out, baby, we’re almost there.” Bokuto quickly kissed her. His head fell against her chest and she wrapped arms around him.**

_I want to scream your name._

_Just hold on._

**Kaori heard him whimper, she almost missed it because he was so quiet. But then Bokuto repeated himself and she heard a name that wasn’t hers. She swallowed hard, familiar with Bokuto’s pain.**

**“Say his name Bo.” Kaori encouraged.**

_I’ll hold on to him for a little longer._

**Bokuto couldn’t meet her face, suddenly feeling guilty, but he couldn’t stop. Not now, they were relying on him.**

**“Fuck, Akaashi. So close, baby. So close…” Bokuto chanted.**

**His hands left her face and gripped her butt, pushing her up, fucking into her desperately. It was like a pop when he came, his cock twitching inside of her. She milked him as he began leaving more marks on her flesh. He pulled out when he dubbed it safe, slowly dragging his cock out. Kaori whimpered, missing the stretch and the full feeling his cock gave her.**

**She turned to get up, but Bokuto flopped her towards the head of the bed. Positioned her on her back again and spread her legs far enough for his upper body to fit comfortably.**

**“Bokuto what are you doing?” She asked.**

**“I’m a gentleman so I’m returning the favor.” He said.**

**Kaori laughed, not really sure what to do with her hands yet.**

**Before he began, Bokuto laid his chin on her stomach and watched her with soft, kind eyes. “You can say his name too, you know?”**

**Kaori blushed.**

**“It won’t hurt my feelings, Kaori. This is why we started doing this. Say his name.” Bokuto demanded. “If you don’t I’ll just edge you over and over until you cry.”**

**Kaori rested her head against his pillows and scooted her bottom a little bit closer to his face. Bokuto took that encouragement and roughly pulled her closer. Kaori replaced his pillow back underneath her. Bokuto nipped and sucked at her thighs, happy that he had an empty canvas. Whenever Kaori tried attempted to touch herself Bokuto shooed her hand away. She tried once more making Bokuto angry.**

**He got to his feet and crossed the room to his school uniform that hung on the door. He grabbed his tie, returned to Kaori, and tied her wrists and pinned them against her stomach. Kaori huffed in protest, Bokuto kissed her cheek before returning to marking up her thighs. Kaori struggled in her restraints, but he only tightened his hold.**

**“Daichi, please…” Kaori whimpered.**

**Bokuto released her wrists but left them tied together. He stretched his arms over her body and fondled her breasts—twisting and pulling her nipples. He licked at her folds, giving her entrance a few long swipes. Kaori gasped and arched her back when he sucked on her clit.**

**Kaori keened, reverberating off the walls. Her breathing was quickening as Bokuto devoured her, the noises were unseemly and wet. Taking two of his fingers, he penetrated her easily and curled them into her sweet spot. Kaori screamed and tried to twist herself away but Bokuto was too strong. Her hands petted his hair before gripping it just as Bokuto fucked her with his fingers at the same deep pace.**

**“Daichi…fuck! Daichi please!” Kaori panted, her breathing getting faster and faster.**

**Knowing she was getting close Bokuto didn’t let up his assault until she silently screamed and her entire body trembled. Bokuto continued to fuck her through her orgasm. When her legs closed on his head, he stopped. Kissing the marks he made. He untied her wrists, laid down next to her and then tucked her in his arms.**

_This is the hardest part._

**She sighed with content, physically exhausted, but emotionally she was somewhere else. Kaori buried her face into his skin, sobbing. He turned onto his side and hugged her to him. He felt for her, he pained for Akaashi, he wanted his setter in his arms like this. To make him feel safe and loved.**

**After the few times they hooked up Kaori worried about Bokuto keeping everything inside. He joked saying he left everything in his condom and Kaori slapped his shoulder, the smacking noise was satisficing to both their ears. He reassured her that he was fine, that fucking her got the intense want for Akaashi out of his system. She wasn’t buying it but dropped the subject when he laid on top of her and fucked her from behind.**

**Kaori fell asleep in his arms, having no idea how he managed to pull his blankets over them since they were on top of them the whole time. He combed through her hair with his fingers until his eyes felt heavy enough to just close them and drift off.**

**Kaori woke up a few hours later, one of Bokuto’s arm was draped over her—heavy and warm. She tilted her head up and softly smiled at Bokuto’s puffy sleeping face. She sat up, freeing the arm she fell asleep on. Bokuto rolled his body to face the wall, showing Kaori his wide back. She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.**

**She went to the bathroom to check her clothes. They were dry and she changed into them, dumping his clothes into the wash. She left his house, using her spare key to lock up after herself. Thankfully, she hasn’t missed the last train going home.**

**It was sparce of people, but she received several disgusted glares. Confused, Kaori opened her camera on her phone and saw all the hickies Bokuto left her. She was going to kick his juicy ass the next time she saw him. How did he create so many? How was she supposed to go to school looking like she developed a skin disease. Then she remembered the ones he put on her things. Okay, now she was mad. How was she supposed to change out for gym? She wasn’t going to just kick his ass, she was going to murder his ass.**

**She found a new car that wasn’t full of people and dug out her concealer and foundation. She did her best to cover everything. The collar of her shirt was high and covered most of them. Giving up, she wasted the rest of her time on her phone. Only a few of her cousins texted her, Tanaka asked if she solved any questions on their math assignment and Ennoshita told her to not help Tanaka.**

**Every time she sleeps with Bokuto her concept of time gets screwed up. It was like entering another dimension with him. She thought it was super late, but in actuality it was around dinner time. Her platform was a little crowded, but she was able to make her way and towards the exit easily. She checked the time again and she could still make it to the convenient store to pick up a few items for dinner she knew she didn’t have. Coach Ukai gave her shit for eating so late, but she lied and said it for her lunch. He didn’t believe her and watched her face.**

**“If you keep staring I’ll age five years.” Kaori said, impulsively adding a soda on the counter.**

**“You look rough kid, is everything ok?” He asked, glancing up at her in between ringing up her items.**

**“Yea I’m fine. My allergies are buggin’ me.” Kaori lied.**

**“Uh huh, then why are there streaks in your foundation?” Ukai said pointedly.**

**Kaori paused, thinking of an excuse. “Would stop tryin’ to know me?”**

**“Because I’m your legal guardian and my responsibility.” Ukai said.**

**“And yet I live alone.” Kaori smirked.**

**“You know I would move in if Akito allowed it.” Ukai finished ringing her up and placed her bag on the counter.**

**“I mean, he’ll never know.” Kaori finished paying for her food and tucked her wallet away in her back pocket. “I’m fine Keishin. Just a long day.”**

**He still wasn’t buying it and tucked away the conversation away to have another day. He told her good-bye and to get home safely and returned to his newspaper. She was about to leave, but then stopped dead in her tracks. Ukai was about to ask her what was wrong, but then the automatic doors dinged open.**

**“Oh hey Kaori.” Daichi said, with his large smile.**

**The butterflies and worry she left in Bokuto’s bed returned. She had another day to reset herself until she had to see Daichi again. A whole 24 hours to not feel anything for him. She had no time to feel trapped when she felt Ukai’s eyes trained on her.**

**“Hey, Daichi.” She said weakly. She cleared her throat and repeated herself more confidently, “hey Daichi.”**

**He walked passed her but continued their conversation. “We missed you at practice today.”**

**“Sorry about ditching, but when Akito calls for an audience it’s best to get it out of the way before he magically appears.” Kaori explained.**

_I hate lying to you._

**“You didn’t miss much. Just the usual chaos.” Daichi returned with a protein drink and a few snacks. “Oh, Ennoshita told me to remind you to not help Tanaka.”**

**“Yea I got that text. Kind of afraid to ask why.” Kaori laughed.**

**Daichi chuckled along with her, “I was too, so I didn’t.”**

**Ukai interrupted their no destination conversation, “can you walk this idiot home?”**

**Kaori glared at Ukai, making him jump. Thankfully, Daichi didn’t see it.**

**“Yea not a problem.” Daichi agreed.**

**When Daichi was out of ear shot, Kaori turned towards Ukai. “I cannot stand you.”**

**“Love you too.” Ukai said, sitting back in chair and snapped his paper.**

**Daichi and Kaori walked in silence, she busied herself on her phone. Wanting to message Bokuto, but she knew he was still asleep. He always slept a long time after one of their sessions. Maybe Kuroo would answer her if he wasn’t playing games with Kenma. Daichi was watching her out of the corner of his eye.**

**“Are you okay?” He asked.**

**She turned her phone off. “Yea, why?”**

**He shrugged. “I don’t know, you just seem off. Was visiting Akito hard this time.”**

**“You could say that.” Kaori said under her breath. “It was a good visit. He was too sick to see for long, so I got to visit with some of my cousins.”**

**“Hm.”**

**Jesus fucking Christ, did Ukai tell him how to tell when she’s lying?**

**“I also got to see Kazuma and catch up with him. He seems to think Tohru and Kyo will end up together. We have a bet going.” That was actually the truth. It was a conversation that happened weeks ago, but Daichi didn’t need to know that.**

**“Are you against them getting together?” Daichi asked, an eyebrow cocked.**

**“Oh no, we have a bet to see which one will confess first. My bet is on Tohru. Hatsuharu is keeping us updated.”**

**Daichi looked confused and she couldn’t blame him. She had a lot of cousins and they were hard to keep track of even for her. The seasons were changing and the air was getting warmer, but the nights were still chilly. Or maybe her clothes were a little damp still.**

**“Are you cold?” Daichi asked, after watching her shiver when a gust of wind rolled by.**

**“A little, but I’ll live.” Kaori shook off the chill she felt and kept her face straight.**

**Daichi touched the back of his hand to her cheek, “why are you so cold?”**

**Daichi stopped when Kaori wasn’t by him anymore. She stared at him with a stoic expression. “I have something to tell you. I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time, but I wasn’t sure how you’d react. I think it’s time you know.”**

**They stood in silence for a few seconds.**

**“I’m a vampire.”**

**Daichi sighed, “why did I except something serious?”**

_Because I can’t tell you yet **.**_

**Daichi handed her his bag and she was confused for half a second. He shrugged off his school jacket and then draped it over her shoulders. He took his bag back and reached for her hand.**

**“C’mon, let’s get you home before you catch a cold.” He said, beginning to walk off.**

**“That’s not how colds work.” She said, slowly following behind Daichi like a stubborn child.**

**“I know that, but I still want to get you home fast.” Daichi said.**

**“Why? Gotta hot date?” She asked, praying she was wrong.**

_Please say no._

**“Actually I do.”**

**A nasty taste rose in her throat, but she swallowed it. She wouldn’t let Daichi see her disappointment. It wasn’t her fault she was a coward.**

**“Really? That’s great.” She sounded so fake she wanted to hit herself.**

**“We are going to hang out.” Daichi said, turning around to face her.**

**“I’m sorry?” Kaori suddenly stopped. So many things started to run through her mind. She’s never just had Daichi over, not without the rest of the team. She hasn’t cleaned the house in a month, there was a pile of dishes she’s neglected all week. Not to mention what if he saw Bokuto’s hickies? How was she supposed to explain those? She didn’t want to ruin whatever chance with him. Even if the window was small. She wanted it to remain open.**

**“I realized I don’t know much about you, outside of what you tell everyone.” Daichi attempted to continue their walk to her home, but she dug her feet in. She maybe small, but she was strong when she needed to be.**

**“Right now isn’t a good time, Daichi.” She slowly took her hand out of his.**

_Make this stop._

_Don’t look at me like that._

_Please._

_Please._

_Just leave before I tell you everything._

**“Do you have family over?” He asked, his head tilting to the side.**

**“Oh, uh, no.” She could feel the tears beginning to well up and her throat tightened. She coughed, clearing her air way and tried to make eye contact with him. “I was going to go to bed as soon as I got home. It was a long day.”**

_Stupid._

**Daichi dropped his gaze and his face turned gloomy.**

_You_

_Gigantic_

_Stupid_

_Stupid_

_Girl_

**Daichi recovered quickly, giving her his 100 watt smile. “Sorry I guess I should have given you a heads up or at least asked.”**

**“No it’s fine. I just want my bed.”**

_And a shovel to bury my grave._

**They eventually made it to her home. All the lights were off except for the ones outside and in the entrance hall.**

**“Do you want me to come inside? Just to make sure no one has broken in or anything.” Daichi said, quickly defending his question.**

**“No, I think I’ll be fine. If someone had broken in there’d be an alarm going off, plus a bunch of cops so…”**

_Not that I wouldn’t gladly accept death right now._

**Kaori took his jacket off and handed it back to him with thanks. She watched him walk away through the small window until he disappeared down the stairs. She took her shoes off sluggishly and walked through the small house like a robot. She dropped her things on the counter, the bag grazed the edge and fell to the floor. She heard the small carton of eggs crack. She stood there for a moment, staring down at the bag. The next thing she knew she turned around and punched the nearest wall, putting a decent sized dent into it. Kaori collapsed to the floor, holding her hand to her chest.**

**“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” She seethed, too afraid to look at her hand. “You’re such a moron! What the fuck is wrong with you?”**

**She rocked herself back and forth until her anger dissipated into laughing at herself. Her hysterical laughing turned into hysterical sobbing. She covered her face with both hands, feeling completely helpless in a dark empty home. She’s never hated herself more than she did now. She wasn’t good for Daichi, she was dirty and broken. Why would he want to waste his time on her? Maybe out of pity. A girl who was sent away because she shamed her family, to live on her own and deal with the consequences of her actions. Actions that were always, always wrong.**

**If Kaori were a decent human being, she wouldn’t have agreed to be fuck buddies with Bokuto. What they’re doing can’t be healthy. She should have just come clean about her feelings for him, to his face, before things got physical with the ace. Akito told her she could never have anything good in this world because she was dirty. She didn’t deserve happiness after all the pain she’s caused.**

**“Kaori?” Ukai’s voice cut through her brain like an angel sent from heaven. “Jesus girl, what in the world did you do?”**

_Does it matter?_

_I deserve it._

**“Let me see your hand.” Ukai gently lifted her hand, expecting her to flinch or pull it away. She didn’t feel the pain, she felt numb. “I don’t think anything’s broken, but…what happened to your neck?”**

**He placed her hand down on her lap, moved long strands of hair away and pulled her shirt away from her body. There’s only so much concealer and foundation can do.**

**“Who did that to you?” Ukai’s voice was serious. “Did something happen?”**

**She hated the fear in his voice. “Nothing happened. Except for maybe Bokuto.”**

**“The Fukurodani’s ace?” Ukai asked, “when did that start?”**

**“A couple of months ago.” Kaori shrugged, letting every word fall out easily. She was just so tired.**

**“I thought you had a thing for Daichi?” Ukai helped her to her kitchen table.**

**“I do.”**

**Ukai stopped rummaging her cabinets to find her first aid kit. “Oh.” He thought for a few moments until the light bulb flickered on. “Ooh…oh no. Please tell me you’re at least being safe.”**

**“Yes.” She said looking away. It was awkward, but she expected it would be.**

**Ukai found the kit, set it on the table and began cleaning the broke skin on her knuckles.**

**“You’re not…mad?” Kaori asked, wincing when the alcohol burned her exposed skin.**

**“No, not at all.” Ukai waved his hand over the irritated skin, the cool air soothing it. “I know I’m old, but I do remember what it was like being a teenager. Besides, your mother did some pretty stupid outrageous things too. Maybe I should start telling you some stories so you can learn from her mistakes. But the important thing here, is that you learn from the ones you create and move on.”**

**“You don’t talk about her much.” Kaori admitted softly.**

**“She was my best friend. Thick as thieves. She came to all my games and we got into a lot of trouble together.” Ukai sat back after finishing bandaging her hand. “You probably don’t know, but she came from a difficult home life. Her parents weren’t the greatest people. She spent a lot of time in my parent’s house. Had her own toothbrush and everything. Old man Ukai treated her like she was his entire world.”**

**“Jealous much?” Kaori smirked.**

**“Not at all. She needed it.” Ukai paused. “Then she met your dad and everything just got better. Even though the Sohmas didn’t approve of her because she wasn’t the right, stock, I guess? Especially for the head of the Sohma family. She almost gave up.”**

**Kaori leaned in, arms on the table. She’s never heard stories about her mother before. No one in the Sohma family spoke about her and it hurt Ukai. She knew they were friends, but she had no idea how deep their friendship was. She didn’t know anything about her mother’s side of the family. Everyone purposely kept her in the dark.**

**“Your dad wouldn’t let her though. He fought tooth and nail for her, even threatened to abdicate his position as the head. You get his stubbornness from him, but you’re worse.”**

**Kaori scoffed, “glad to know it’s genetic.”**

**“Yea no kidding. You were bull headed even as a baby. When you wanted something you stopped at nothing to get it.” Ukai patted her head. “And that’s why I think you’ll handle whatever is going on with you and Bokuto fine. Just don’t give up, okay?”**

**“And what about Daichi?” Kaori asked.**

**“That’ll come to ahead on its own. Just give it some time. Remember he’s a guy and we’re kinda clueless.” Ukai joked.**

**“Kinda?”**

**Ukai poked her in the forehead, “don’t ruin the moment.”**

**“Sorry, sorry.” Kaori rolled her eyes.**

**“One last thing.” Ukai sat back in his chair, reaching for his cigarettes. “If you ever feel helpless, I’m always here. I wasn’t made your legal guardian for nothin’ you know?”**

**“Thanks coach.”**

**“That’s what I’m here for.” Ukai blew out smoke and then pointed the red lit end towards her. “Also, tell Bokuto if he doesn’t knock it off with those things on your neck I’ll break his kneecaps.”**

**Kaori snorted. “Are you sure _you’re_ not my dad?”**

**“Absolutely not.” Ukai stopped mid smoke, “well actually.”**

**“Are you serious? You never did it with my mother! Gross!” Kaori bolted from her chair and charged towards the stairs.**

**“Hey! There are eggs leaking from this bag!”**

**“You clean it up, you grossed me out!” She yelled from the top of the stairs.**

**In her room, Kaori dug out her phone and saw she had a text from Bokuto. He asked if she got home alright, seeing it was sent and hour and half ago she could only imagine how much he was panicking.**

**Menacing Crow to Frosted Tip Owl:**

**Sorry, sorry. I lost track of time talking to Ukai. I’m home.**

**Author's Note:**

> Here's that thing my friend wrote: 
> 
> AND THEN DAICHI RAN OFF TO BOKUTO’S ROOM AND SAID LETS SHARE KAORI’S SEED, FUCK ME IN THE BUTTHOLE AND BOKUTO SAID HOLY FUCK OKAY I FUCKING GUESS AND HE FUCKS DAICHI IN THE BUTT AND HE SHOOTS KAORI’S SEED INTO DAICHI’S BUTT BECAUSE HE HAD SOME IN HIS OWN BUTT, THAT’S HOW THAT WORKS, AND NOW DAICHI IS PREGNANT WITH KAORI’S BABY VIA BOKUTO’S DICK. AND THEY LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER. MPREG, THE END.


End file.
